Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
