We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Boobs speak an international language.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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