Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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