I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
