u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we're making bets on your personal life
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
