i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
