Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize