Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think your dad took our porno
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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