It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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