idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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