You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
