did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
