redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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