I just threw up on my dentist
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
