If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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