When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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