I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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