I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
