so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
