it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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