How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize