fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
