you turned your livingroom into a bong?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
