brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
