Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
