If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize