we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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