How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
