Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
