super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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