dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
