About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
