Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
