Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
