she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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