in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
