I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize