If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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