After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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