Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
