At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Randomize
