So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
