thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
