i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
