Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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