White coat. Heels.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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