i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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