ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
