I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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