dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize