Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
