Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize