I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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