That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
