Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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