Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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