its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize