She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
