That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
