my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
