Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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