I CAN MOONWALK!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
