Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
